Learn Your Emotional Buttons

We all have emotional triggers. There are situations and people that seem to set us off without warning. You might be enraged by someone interrupting you while someone else is bothered by clutter. We each have a unique set of emotional buttons.

Our reaction is similar to a reflex. Someone presses the button and a negative emotional response springs into action. Begin to disconnect your emotional buttons with these strategies:

Observe yourself

You can learn a lot by observing yourself. You’re in a perfect position to notice your emotional buttons as they’re triggered. However, this is harder than you might think. We all think our emotional buttons are rational and reasonable, but that might not be the case.

  • First, think back on all the times you’ve been very upset in the past. What triggered that reaction? What was said? What was the situation? Who was there? Do you see a pattern as you examine multiple scenarios?

  • Pay attention to your emotional reactions over the next month. Notice when your emotions take a sharp turn. Determine the cause.

Ask for help

This is the most important step:

  • Get out of the Maze. This is us holding onto old grievances, demanding that life should be fair when it is not. It keeps us stuck in the past, unable to enjoy life in the present, and contaminates the future. Allison will use Tools to help you overcome this experience every single time.

Make a list of your emotional buttons

  • Make a list of all the triggers you’re able to identify. Write them out so you can see them. Keep adding to your list until you feel it is complete.

  • Do you see a pattern? For example, you might despise people cutting you off in traffic, tardiness, and being interrupted. This would suggest that disrespect is what triggers you.

Identify how those emotional buttons are hurting you

  • Go through each emotional button and consider the harm it is causing you. It might be hurting your chances for a promotion at work. It could be damaging your relationships.

Consider the cause

  • Why do these things trigger you? Your emotional buttons aren’t the same as someone else’s.

  • Why do these particular things get such an emotional rise from you?

  • Why does something bother you but mean little to someone else?

Identify a more effective response

  • Go through your list of emotional buttons and think about the ideal response for each one.

  • What would be the most appropriate or advantageous response on your part?

Monitor yourself

  • Give your new and improved responses a try.

  • Be thoughtful enough to use your new response when you notice yourself triggered. See how it goes. Learning to be present enough to remember your intention might take a while.

Be patient

It’s very challenging to be thoughtful and logical during a time of high emotion. People are not guaranteed to treat you fairly but your mind will tell you they should. Your brain doesn’t function in the same way when it’s emotionally aroused. However, by working with the Tools Allison offers and the ideas listed above, your new responses will become automatic.

Emotional buttons can be a significant obstacle to moving your life forward, career, and relationships. They can even pose a big challenge to your emotional and physical health.

Do your best to minimise your emotional triggers' effect on your life, and you’ll enjoy less stress and greater peace and serenity with your life and those around you.

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My coaching is a little different than most. I blend holistic longevity practices with psychology, assessments, strategies and tools to help guide my clients toward their goals- fast.